Megan's Ponderings

Contemplations from a Blessed Life

Battle of the Wills (KW – Personal Control vs. Surrender)

When I read the topics for today’s Kingdom Woman Blog Hop, I thought about using another post and changing a few sentences to covey my thoughts. Then, IT happened…

As a mom of young kids, I’m always finding material in their behavior that God wants to teach me. Today is no different. Ryan, my oldest son, is pretty comfortable going to the potty, but he’s been throwing major tantrums about doing it. I’d encourage him to go by rewarding his behavior. (Yes, I’m not above bribing my children in certain situations.) I’d lay down the law and sit there until he’d go. I’d give him time limits. You name it, I’ve done or thought about it. However, after I excuse myself from the situation and calm down, he tends to go. Then I think, “We could’ve avoided this whole thing if you would have gone to the potty in the first place!”

When it comes to strong wills, Ryan’s behaviors don’t fall far from the tree. I’ve always liked to be in control, and I’m realizing that from daily power struggles with my 3 year old. Why do I want control? Why do I feel the need to hold my stance so strongly that I lose sight of other obvious solutions? Well, I don’t want him to learn that I’m a pushover (even though I am in some instances). I don’t want him to think he’ll get his way if he just screams loudly, does his own thing, and doesn’t obey me the first time. I certainly want him to respect those in authority in his life. I…I…I… (it seems to be all about me, doesn’t it?)

So today, as Ryan and I battled in the bathroom for the umpteenth time, I stopped and prayed for wisdom and patience. Yes, I did what I should’ve done during the first tantrum and every tantrum after that. I prayed and asked God to give me wisdom in the situation and patience to deal with my child. Somehow, I feel God saying, “We could’ve avoided your selfish tactics, your frustrations, your ‘wanting to scream’ moments if you just prayed in the first place.” I can read all the Christian parenting books and seek advice from other Godly mothers, but if I’m not communicated with the Lord through prayer and searching the Scripture for how He wants me to parent, I’m doing everything in my own strength.

Today, after battling it out with my son, I’m relinquishing my love of control and giving it to the Lord. My selfishness will certainly come back, but I’m basking in the comfort and peace in knowing God can give me what I need to parent. He IS the perfect parent, after all!

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9 thoughts on “Battle of the Wills (KW – Personal Control vs. Surrender)

  1. Oh my word. I love you. I needed this!

  2. Oh Megan, this is perfectly put. Thank you! Yes, we too could’ve avoided so many frustrating-for-everyone situations if *I* had just stopped and prayed in the first place. On the (too rare) occasions when I pray *with* them, not only do we find a solution, but I feel good about modelling a Godly response for them rather than a selfish one (which I inevitably feel bad for modelling).

  3. So good! Thanks for sharing!

  4. jayelet24 on said:

    I love it! So simple but true! I am so glad that God is patient with us!!! Because I have had a few…”I don’t wanna go to the potty!” Moments myself! And at this moment…while responding to your blog…I’m listening to my 9 month old baby girl cry because she does not want to go to bed. Now there are NO TEARS…just that whining and the sweet word…”Mama!” (She just started saying that!) I am about to post this…LOL and say a prayer of patience and guidance. Thank you for that advice! It came right on time! 🙂

  5. So beautiful to relinquish our control and trust in God. Love this. Needed this.

    Thanks for joining the momma melody. We would love to have you join us again. Anything mom, from vacation pics, encouraging words, to recipes. I jot some notes on Mondays, but it’s a come whenever you can kind of party. Just moms. Sharing our notes. Creating a melody.

    http://justsarahdawn.blogspot.com/2013/09/a-momma-for-today.html

    Be blessed bunches,
    Sarah

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