Lesson Learned (And Still Learning)
The Henderson Household celebrated Philip’s last chemo treatment last week! We’ve had a celebratory breakfast, lunch, and dinner, parties with friends and family, and the semi-closing of this chapter in our our lives. (Philip still needs to go through 2 tests, but why not celebrate now?!) I’m reflecting on the last 8 months: doctor’s offices, the chemo bag, small victories, tears (mostly mine), pity parties (ALL mine) and…GOD. When Philip was first diagnosed, I was overcome with God’s peace. I cried, of course, but I was fairly calm. I really was my mother’s daughter when a plan needed to be made for Philip’s care: let’s just face what it is and do what we can to get Philip better. But, it was more than a medical plan that got us through this. It was God Himself: His Word, His Church, His Spirit in our lives.
Now, I could tell you about all these lessons I learned and how I’m more like Christ after this. I could say that I fell more in love with Philip through this whole process, and have never loved him more. I could even tell you that I was “the rock” my boys needed these past few months. But honestly, this whole experience has worn me out, emotionally and spiritually. At times, I’ve wanted to crawl in a hole and “make it all go away.” At other times, I’d put on a smile because it was the only thing I could do to keep from sobbing like a small child.
Right now, the thing that sticks out to me is Satan’s power to mess with my mind, especially in the midst of a trial. Sometimes it’s not the “actual trial” that’s the hardest to handle. It’s the thoughts you think during it. Do you, like me, find your thoughts focused on “woe is me”? Or even dwelling on self rather than God’s promises?
I’ve been there. I’m constantly fighting for victory over my thoughts. I take comfort in Phil. 4:8 – “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” God gives us a checklist of what we are to think on. When I find myself dwelling on thoughts that aren’t godly, I ask God to forgive me and then I go through these virtues to change my thinking.
How do you take captive those thoughts that Satan uses to attack you?